So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
