Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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