so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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