So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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