We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
