Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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