Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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