hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
