Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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