So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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