Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
All I want is dick and wine.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
