Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize