Dual....:-)
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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