Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Randomize
