Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
