I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Randomize
