Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
