I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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