I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i think i have herpe
just one?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
tonight lets celebrate not being married
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
