Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
