thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Randomize
