This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
