Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
i think im in europe. pls send help
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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