cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
