I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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