24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
God I need to hump something, right now.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
