remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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