spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
