but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
