So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
