I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize