So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
