its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I think your dad took our porno
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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