butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
