Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
