HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
