I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
