id be glad to
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
