I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
