I just threw up on my dentist
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize