How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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