Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Randomize
