and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You made out with two different species that night
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
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