I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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