Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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