Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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