so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
