put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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