the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
mondays should just be called national damage control day
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
