it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize