I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Randomize