areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
All the doctor said was why
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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