she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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