yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
