She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize