What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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