dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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