i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
