is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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