Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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