two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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