Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
